The Teddy Bear Nurturer
Being a natural healer is inherent in the very core of my essence. Even as a toddler, my mother noticed I would drop my teddy bear on the floor, and I would gently lift him into my arms offering a huge supply of hugs, kisses and comfort. That commitment to healing and the service to others grew into a significant pattern throughout my childhood and into adulthood. But it was not until my mid 30’s before I became fully aware of that part of me. My spiritual awakening and purposeful desire to be of service to myself, others and the Earth began.
Around 1985, I read Shirley MacLaine’s book, Out on a Limb. I remember reading that book and thinking how wonderful it would be if a teacher like Shirley’s would walk into my life.
Shortly after reading the book, I had two profound teachers step upon my path. Looking back in awe, I now understand the full power of manifestation and synchronicity. From that moment forward, I quickly began shifting my perspective on my life, spiritually waking up and noticing my inner self and my commitment to supporting others in need. This heightened awareness of my inner soul self and my higher consciousness knew there was more to this life than my 5 senses.
The journey of my spiritual awakening, re-building and remembering my inner life was now beginning to unfold. However, it was a difficult shift as I was moving up the corporate ladder, had a family and a great external world, yet my inner world was yearning for more. How do you abruptly tell your husband and child? “It is time to move.”
My interests were drastically changing; my body was changing as I became keenly sensitive to other people and my surroundings. Deep down I knew I had the gift of healing, but that did not fit with my fast track corporate life. It did not flow with my desire and commitment to be of service to others.
One day I had an “aha” moment when the idea of going to massage therapy school resonated loudly within my mind. Over the years, my massage practice has benefited many people as they came to me for massage year after year. I am not sure if my clients realize it, but I gain as much from the experience of touch as they do. I absorb the relaxation, peace and calm flowing from their muscle tissues as they release the stress and tension. While building my massage practice, I continued with my spiritual studies and became a Minister. Again, it was about my commitment of giving and receiving to others. To me, being a minister and a healer in service means: to encourage and inspire the many to move out of their darkness and into their own light. When we shine our light, we manifest love in action as it blossoms outward to benefit the collective.
I have undergone many shifts and transitions during my personal spiritual awakening. Many of them were indescribably beautiful and full of love and light, and others were dark, gut wrenching and painful. I remember wishing there was a guidebook on how to traverse this winding road of self-discovery and mastery.
About 8 years ago, I asked myself how could I guide other people to discover this awakening process and to walk through it more skillfully. Initially I chose the “kicking and screaming” method of coping, but it eventually smoothed out the more spiritually awake I became.
During my spiritual journey I discovered and wrote about the different parts of me, and my many unusual experiences. Some were good, and some not so much. I went into the depths of my soul pulling out the deep love, joy and peace as well as the shadow parts of me, such as fear, hate and anger. I had to experience and understand my dark side before I could fully comprehend the light within.
In the end, after 8 years of compiling my journals and muses, I had a spiritual guidebook, and thought I would share it with the world. I accepted the challenge to write a book because I knew there were others struggling to understand this great personal awakening process. I also wanted to help others flow more gracefully with the planetary transformations taking place as well. Traveling to many of the sacred sites shifting the negative energies was one way I chose to facilitate the healing process of our beloved planet Earth.
In my book, I explain many esoteric metaphysical philosophies, the universal laws, such as free will and free choice, and highlighted our many blessed gifts we each possess. My book is a reminder of what our souls already knows, yet we have forgotten our many spiritual gifts of empowerment. It can be summed up in one reference: “Your achievements in passing the test are measured by how well you have acted, how well you reacted, how you thought, how you loved and how much you gave to others.”*
I no longer have my old, tattered and well-loved teddy bear, named DeeDee, to hold and cherish. But I lovingly replaced him with a wonderful family and friends and the deep acknowledgement of love and healing I give to myself. In order to love others, we must first love ourselves—a lesson and a reminder I received from my dear friend, James.
Former biker chick, corporate executive, and now a massage therapist, minister, wife, mom, grandma, author, teacher, seeker of truth and a student of the divine.
*The Power of Me—Spiritual Tools for the Great Awakening. Page 191.
Photo by Ed Hodges. Subject: My mother’s well-loved teddy bear from the 1920’s.